newish year, new chapter

A new year is upon us again, only 11 months left.  For the last couple of years, the dawn of this time of year couldn't come quicker because the new year is symbolic of a new start.  Time is absolutely telling and healing.  I knew this, but never more affirming than living through it.  Whether I am prepared or not, it always seems to fly by.  This time, this year, FINALLY, I am grateful that I no longer have to confront the same intense toxic emotions.  Of course,  it is too bad for incidental encounters as local establishments are to have such unfortunate staff.  But, that is beyond my control.

One of the most rewarding experiences this summer was the three weeks spent in one of my most favorite and beautiful countries, Italy.  More than 7000 images was not enough to capture the enormity and the most magical of places.  The sheer volume of pictures are overwhelming, even now the task of choosing a few representative photos are too daunting.  I have modest mini paintings in pastel, my first attempt ever at painting anything.  The first week of the trip was spent in a villa in Umbria, workshop with Linda Richichi, an amazing pastel artist, and photography with Mary Ann Glass.

dusk at the Villa

The pastel paintings were meant to be five minute quick sketches as they were done plein air, value studies for bigger paintings later if one should feel so inclined.  Except, I can't work fast and large scale is intimidating.  In my case, these were "multiple hour mini paintings".  All are 2.5" x 3.5", except the two bigger next to mini is 4" x 6".

view from Villa, this mini study is my favorite

top right was my first one at the Villa.  The other two are at a sunflower field close by
 (the gray blobs are supposed to be olive trees)

this photo is a better visual 

this was where we were situated for painting session

another view from Villa

more from the Villa, the bottom was the sky, mostly fudged,
but i'm sure at some point at dusk that evening, it was close

these are the photos to prove it

this one was just as the sun was setting

this was my only quick sketch of the Villa on the day of arrival

these two are at Borghese Gardens in Rome

these are in Menaggio on Lake Como

this was the inspirational view

one more

another

There are infinite images, some more of which may make it's way over for.  For now, this glimpse is enough.

these I purchased from the master, Linda Richichi
one can see why I hardly qualify as "student"

I approached this trip with an open mind and I wanted the opportunity to have real time away from my environment.  As for personal insight, I don't know that there will ever be "absolute clarity", as there is rarely anything so definitive, but I returned with the notion and the ability to feel that I can start a new chapter in my life.

There were a lot of knitting UFOs' for the holidays.  As always, I reprimand myself for not starting my crafty projects earlier.  But I managed to squeeze in a couple of enameled ornaments.  So, next year this year when I vow to start earlier, more may be made.

mitten

stocking, there were a whole lot personalized

"family tree" for my sisters

The tradition of making and decorating Christmas cookies prevails.  Of course, this year there was an enthusiastic recruit.

niece so proud of her decorated by self snowman

Gratitude, that is prominent on my mind.  I am grateful for the persistent family and friends, for the new friends,  stronger bonds, new experiences,  and for the personal growth.  Life is a collection of changes, and they are not always bad.  As long as I can validate with my own standards that this "change" has meaning to my sense of reality, then I can't go wrong.

ciao italia!

Somehow, somewhere, some people, "conspired" to have this happen...

Made these for a few people of whom I will share this adventure...  experience of which I would have everything to gain.
I hoped for this time away to give me much insight and "clarity".  What I learn instead is to sometimes expect the unexpected, great things happen when you least expect, and are sometimes unplanned.  I go with an open mind, and allow this experience to actualize to what it's all meant to be...

memoriam

There are rare individuals we meet, a connection and bond is formed, seemingly unlikely and inexplicable in certain ways, but makes an impression despite time and distance.  One such person is someone I met some years ago, pretty far in distance, mountain time zone, most beautiful and loving soul, empathic, compassionate wife, doting mother of some very lucky boys, and a "rainbow" little girl.  She is a woman with strong convictions, but never forceful, only respectful.  She has such an understanding of the human psyche, highly intellectual, and the most beautiful writer, with much honesty and truth, much prose, and a way with words that is so touching.  I can't relate to her tremendous losses, but I find comfort by the power of her words, her truth.  I feel the intensity of her words, her heart.   We were only in each other's company for about two weeks, and I have lost the bond connecting me to the periodic and personal updates.  It is only through social media, of which I rarely partake, that I am kept abreast of her happenings.  She may not know it, but is a person I draw strength.

My intentions were to have the "gifts" in her possession by Earth Day, because I know the significance of that day to her.  But, the procrastinator in me said by Mother's Day which turned into Memorial Day, because it would mean remembering two special souls, then into as soon as I can is better than not at all.  Nonetheless, they are finished, and shall soon be sent.

"un" dressed bunny, by Barbara Prime

well-dressed bunny with her "rainbow" pinafore

back, gathered a crocheted chain for the tail

watching over

two special souls

Though she will receive these momentos a little later than I had hoped, the sentiments are most sincere.  I hope Ali V likes her bunny, and a key ring for her mom to keep close...  If I should ever to be in that role, I only hope to be a fraction of the "mom" that she is!

post BOS, philanthropic pursuits...

Anxiety, sleep deprivation, hesitancy...with BOS over, almost a month now, I am finally getting around to writing about it.  In hindsight, I am glad that I participated.  The positive feedback and practical strangers acknowledging and telling me that they like my work was nice reinforcement, makes me feel legitimate.  Everything leading up to it, and everything I managed to accomplish for it was all a step in the right direction.  Not only did it give me direction, but provided the motivation for me to create.  I only hope to perpetuate this momentum somehow.  Ironically enough,  even from the perspective of an anxious introvert, one of the biggest gains was talking to, and meeting all the wonderful and talented people.  I was in a room with 5 other immensely talented individuals.

Chris Sanders

Ed Vermehren

Jackie Shrzynski

Barbara Hanson

Amy C. Wilson

me

the space

I love supporting local art.  If only I had a larger disposable budget!  My acquisitions included the following,

Kathleen Andersen, glass terrarium pendant light

art by Margot Kingon

Kokma Toys by Amy C. Wilson

pillow by Barbara Hanson, anything with architecture and windows, need i say more!

limited edition AAARRRRRTT! shirts by Chris Sanders

Most importantly, it was the philanthropic efforts of a very special 4 year old, Leila, that stole my heart.

A humble suggestion and modest effort on my part, her delectable chocolate chip cookies, and the generous donations of the people filtering through that weekend, a very respectable total was raised for her cause.

Leila with her chocolate chip cookies, young lady with an enormous generous heart!

 My baking contributions

madeleines by David Lebovitz, sans glaze

It helped that we had a spread of treats contributed by the participating artists!

There are new adventures on the horizon!  Sometimes when you allow things to just happen, they turn out better than what you plan.  I do not consider myself a "spiritual" person.  If a roller coaster of emotions is the price to pay for a favorable outcome, then this is a small price.  It has to be an "energy" beyond myself, maybe it's an accumulation of my karmic energy rewarding me despite questioning how I could be so deserving.  Perhaps, understanding individuals with the power to grant me the time...mystical or not, or both, I am grateful.  A very wise friend shared with me today that everything works out as they should when we are not attached to the outcome!

breathing in the air

Confronted with a strong visceral, intense hostility, and aversion, the word that comes to mind is "hate".  I'm not proud to be harboring this emotion for anything, not only because it's not the core of who I am, but the intensity of this "dislike" is wasted on something not worthy of even an inkling of time.  I understand the rationale, but reacting only grants it credence.  There are encounters of which I cannot control, I hate that this "chance" was enabled by an individual of which I had "once" been afflicted with the opposite emotion.  Naturally, exposure develops desensitization.  Though I hope to never have this opportunity, my best response would be one of indifference.

Otherwise, my window is finished!

with hand fabricated chain, closure with its final incarnation

my window open

the hand drawn view

that little door knocker, works!

on display @ Hudson Beach Glass, BOS group show

Life is full of lessons.  When I can open my eyes and heart to it, windows open.  I've unlocked a door.  I can feel the fresh air and am "breathing" it in.  I'm not only saying and hoping, but actually believing that I will be okay again, maybe, even better than what I was!

starts with a decision

Everything emanates from a decision.  It was nice to feel the wind whipping as I ran, jogged, walked at a brisk pace, on the track again after many months of a sedentary lifestyle.  After numerous excuses, and as much as I'd didn't want to do it, I did make the decision, now the work begins with keeping it.  I don't know why I was foolish to expect anything less of myself than to reflect on what that track has been in the past.  The road may be very familiar and similar, but the journey won't be the same.

door & key, components in the making for a bigger piece

The key is in my hand, unless I make the decision to unlock the door and walk through, I may never know what's on the other side.  This seems like a bunch of cliches, but these trite sayings are truisms I can apply to myself.

a window opens

Eons ago, a semester was spent abroad in Siena, Italy.  For the drawing class, equipped with sketch pad and ink pen, a field trip was sometimes taken to the rolling hills of the Tuscan countryside, to just sit and draw, and soak in the landscape.  Numerous hours were spent at the campo, duomo, or one of the many alleyways, to sit, draw, people watch, and take in the astounding architecture packed in every square inch of the cityscape.

for sense of scale, right measures 3"x5.5"

4"x 3"; 1.5"x2"

bottom is 5.5"x3.5"

no bigger than 3"x4.5"

These small scale vignettes of it's culture and landscapes are some of my favorite souvenirs from that experience.  Though I lack "artistic ability" in certain ways, detailed drawings of architecture was something I had always intended to continue, but too many other things always had priority.  When I considered submitting something for The Big Draw,  I looked to my environment and started taking notice of the beautiful architecture that surrounds me.

Of course, these drawings didn't happen for me given the timing of events.  It was volunteering at this event, that I was lucky enough to acquire this painting by a local artist.

6"x12" of Homespun

Ed Vermehren, one of the participants of the live rally drawing.  I love his vibrant use of color in the depiction of this building, Homespun Foods, local eatery.  It is ironic that the very thing I fear, color, was one of the elements that drew me in.  I know nothing about color theory.  My humble little drawings are black and white.  And it is only recent, that color permeates my jewelry in the form of enamels.  I was staring at this painting on my wall, when something finally clicked and everything fell into place.  I now have an idea and concept, and hopefully to execute into a finished piece for the group show for BOS..  This quote has been festering for quite some time, with no clear idea of realizing it in a tangible way, "when one door closes, a window opens-  Alexander  G. Bell".  I can finally connect the dots, and incorporate my most recent intentions in a real and productive way.

Construct a window,

hinged on a box,

opens to the inside with a hand etched , scene on the back panel

...the possibilities are infinite, already have many ideas and options of expanding and developing this idea... I'm excited about the concept of the "inside", opening the window to look "outside" into the scene that is contained "in a box", metaphors abound! I've only initiated the process of this idea, and some of the photos are a rough mock-up, but I am excited to execute and see it to fruition.  Is it too indulgent to be this excited about my own idea?