|"for every twilight, a dawn" rendering|
I'm not certain how this piece will ultimately look like, but this is the inspiration and the launch of a potential idea. Plum blossoms, I definitely want to incorporate. They symbolize perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity, courage and strength, flowers "daring" to bloom in late winter. They are a symbol of spring, hope, and new beginnings.
Despite what I want to believe in, I still have a hard time managing my emotions. I'm so afraid of becoming angry and bitter. There isn't a neutral environment. The most prominent, whether it be professional or personal, provides no refuge. It's difficult to not succumb to the intensity of what seems to be a vicious cycle. I seethe with hate/anger with every chance encounter. When
Oprah said one of her favorite definitions of Forgiveness is, "giving up the hope that the past would've been any different". I accept that "the past" can't be any different, and no longer "hope" for it to be. But, things shouldn't/didn't have to be this way. I can never forget, foreseeing forgiveness remains elusive, but does it mean that until I do, there's no "letting go"? I'm not just convincing myself, but I am truly working on it. I knew this was going to be a hard month, so when February is behind me, so will "many more firsts". I am channeling this energy into creating, so if I can only channel the spirit of the plum blossoms, I will "bloom" come dawn!