Saturday, January 1, 2011

the ultimate betrayal

I start off the new year by learning the ultimate betrayal.  There's no pain greater than learning the person you thought you knew so well for 6 years, trusted and believed in wholeheartedly can be so heartless, throw salt at fresh wounds and be somewhat surprised to learn one could be so devastated by the actions.  What you choose to engage in defines your character, not what you mutter to yourself and others.  The one thing we all have is free-will, voluntary decision, the doctrine that your conduct expresses personal choice.  These choices come with consequences.  I cannot fathom how a person can choose to engage in behavior knowing that these actions can be destructive to another's psyche.  Feelings can be deceiving, a physical sensation does not trump all.  I'm not a bitter person and do not hold grudges for too long, but there are certain things I cannot forgive nor discount.  I know I cannot allow this incident to sabotoge my belief system, but it does make me question the faith I have in people, the doubts about myself, and you can never be thoroughly convinced of anything.  My tank is empty, but somehow I have to find a way to get through it.  I know there are people in my life that will hold me up and will be there when I need them, to these people I am grateful.  I only hope to believe that I will be stronger and better because of it!


  1. The night is darkest before dawn. These are your darkest hours but you will endure, and survive. I have no doubt about it.

  2. Will is resilient, but I think this is my max. Worst is behind me, I certainly hope but nothing would shock me. I can/will only look forward now